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29-Jul-2008, 06:38 PM
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A man asked that the blonde painter, paint him in the nude.
"Oh no!" replied the talented artist. "I'm sorry, but I don't do that sort of thing." "I'll pay you double your normal fee," the man offered. "No thanks!" she replied. "Ok, I'll give you five times what you normally charge," the man said. The blonde artist thought about it for a moment and replied, "Well, all right, but you'll have to let me at least wear my socks. I need somewhere to put my brushes!"
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29-Jul-2008, 06:40 PM
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John went to his friend`s house unannounced, and he wanted to spend the night.
His friend was sorry that he could not offer him a whole room, so he said, "You can sleep on the floor in the living room, or you can sleep in the room with Baby." John said that he would prefer the floor. The next morning he went to the bathroom, and there he met a gorgeous young blond. "Hi," he said, "who are you?" "I`m Baby, and who are you?" "I`m stupid," he said.
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31-Jul-2008, 06:53 PM
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A blonde agrees to accompany a young guy on a date. On the fixed night this guy arrives at her house and knocks the door. To his surprise, she answers the door in nothing but a towel.
"I`m sorry," she exclaims, "I am running a bit late. Please come in and I`ll introduce you to my parents who will entertain you while I finish getting dressed. I should warn you, though, they are both deaf mutes." With this she ushers him into the living room, introduces him to her parents and promptly disappears. As you can imagine, this is a little uncomfortable as both of the parents are completely silent. Dad is sitting in his arm chair watching golf on TV, and Mom is busy knitting. After about ten minutes of complete silence, Mom jumps from her chair, pulls up her skirt, pulls down her knickers, and pours a glass of water over her fanny. Just as suddenly, Dad launches himself across the room, bends her over the couch, and takes her from behind. He then sits back down in his chair and balances a match stick in front of his eye. The room is plunged back into eerie silence and the young man is shocked into disbelief. After a further ten minutes, the daughter returns fully dressed and ready for the evening. The date is a complete disaster with the young man completely distracted by the on goings earlier in the living room. At the end of the night, the blonde asks, "What`s the matter? Have I done something wrong?" "No, its not you," he replied, "It`s just that the strangest thing happened while I was waiting for you and I am still a bit shocked. Well, first your Mother jumps from her chair, lifts up her skirt, pulls down her panties, and throws a glass of water over her behind. Then, as if that weren`t enough, your Father races from his chair, leans her over the couch and does her from behind. He then sits back down and places a match stick by his eye." "Oh, is that all?" replies the blonde. The man can`t believe her casual response. "That`s how they communicate!, Mom was simply saying, "Are you going to get this asshole a drink?" and Dad was replying, "No, fuck him - I`m watching the match."
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31-Jul-2008, 06:55 PM
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Son takes his father to the doctor. Doctor gives them the bad news that the father is dying of cancer. Father tells the son that he has had a good long life and wants to stop at the bar on the way home to celebrate it. While at the bar, the father sees several of his friends. He tells them that he is dying of AIDS.
When the friends leave the son asks, "Dad, you are dying of cancer. Why did you tell them that you are dying of AIDS?" The father replies, "I don`t want them fucking your mother after I`m gone!"
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31-Jul-2008, 06:56 PM
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Johnny is a young boy, just potty trained. When he goes to the bathroom though, he manages to hit everything but the toilet. So his mom has to go in and clean up after him. After two weeks, she has had enough, and takes Johnny to the doctor.
After the examination, the doctor said, "His unit is too small. An old wives' tale is to give him two slices of toast each morning, and his unit will grow so he can hold it and aim straight." The next morning Johnny jumped out of bed and ran downstairs to the kitchen. There on the table, are twelve slices of toast. "Mom!" Johnny yells. "The doctor said I only had to eat two slices of toast." "I know." said his mother. "The other ten are for your father."
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31-Jul-2008, 07:01 PM
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A man, his wife and seven children where waiting in a bus stop. After some time a blind mad joins them.
The bus comes and the conductor says, "Only eight seats vacant" The man quickly tells his wife, "You and children get on , myself and the blind man will walk". The bus speeds of and both the man and the blind walks. The blind man starts taping his stick on the road. To the tap.. tap.. sound the man gets wild and shouts at the blind, "Asshole can`t you put a rubber to the end of the stick to avoid the tap.. tap .." To this the blind man shouts back, "Fucker if you would have put a Rubber to the end of your stick we both would have been in the bus".
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22-Sep-2008, 12:29 PM
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Quote:
 
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http://work1hours.blog.com/
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